First go of 2010

Better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt - Proverb

I really should use this blog more often,

considering the words that come out of my mouth

are much less profound

compared to the words that I write.

I want to be a man of fewer words

because I have no filter and say the first things

that come to my mouth

and remove all doubt that I am a fool

I am training myself to think before I act.

I am a Ready-Fire-Aim kind of guy

Afterthought is my saving grace

I know I have done wrong and I can admit it

but I do none the less

and far too often

I Am Jack's Removal of All Doubt

Love Life Vol. 2

I felt like reposting this, considering there are new additions and songs to be added to my list life-long list of failure...there are even repeats

KSJ= I've Just Seen A Face - The Beatles
CAL= Heartbreaker - Led Zeppelin
IRA= Nice Guys Finish Last - Green Day
KG= Day Tripper - The Beatles
SH= Billie Jean - Chris Cornell
MLC= Strange and Beautiful - Aqualung
-Handsome Devil - Working Class Rebels
-Time Of Your Life - Green Day
KH= Girls Got Rhythm - AC/DC
-I Will Possess Your Heart - Death Cab for Cutie
-Irish Red - Working Class Rebels
-Helter Skelter - The Beatles
CL= All Because of You - U2
-One - U2
-I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace
-Dust Under My Boots - Working Class Rebels
JN= This Night - Black Lab
RS= Instant Karma - John Lennon
CA= The Little Things Give You Away - Linking Park
ERG= Hey, What'd Do You Say - Kenny Wayne Shepherd
DD= Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses - U2
SB= Hold On Loosely - 38 Special
LS= Wasting Love - Iron Maiden
HG= Starlight - Muse
-The Seeker - The Who
MLS= Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace
MC= Let It Die - Three Days Grace

new

KH(again)- Talk Talk Talk - LINKS

JaMM- Ana Molly, Dig, Oil and Water, Black Heart Inertia - Incubus

- I Will Possess Your Heart- Death Cab for Cutie

-Pretender , Everlong, Monkey Wrench- Foo Fighters

-Watchmen Soundtrack - Tyler Bates

-Green Tinted Eyes - Working Class Rebels

MLC (again)- It's Been Awhile - Staind (...but I still remember just the way you taste)

JP- I fucked up (thats not really a song, that more of a declarative statement)

-Second Chance - Shinedown ("sometimes goodbye is a second chance")

S- Day Tripper - The Beatles (this time the day tripper was me)

LB- Smooth Rider - DMB

SC- Strange and Beautiful -Aqualung (too me you're strange and you're beautiful but you don't see me)

ERG (again)- Midnight Swim - Incubus

-Lady So Divine - Shinedown

- Rock and Roll - Led Zeppelin

-Anything about fiery women

Be Careful What You Do Before The Lie Becomes The Truth

Billie Jean, but the Chris Cornell version

I spent most of today having vivid memories of all the people that have hurt me when it dawned on me like a frying pan to the face...I have hurt so many more people in a much shorter span of time. I'm afraid after I post this that I'll get responses from my friends saying how wrong I am and how I never let them down. As true as that may be, I've still done some frakked up things to some good people.

The one that has stabbed at me all day (well, every day since actually) is this great girl I had. God, she was like my Kaylee, Serenity's mechanic, (if you don't watch Firefly you won't get it so shut up). She was so sweet, kind, my kind of sarcastic and didn't mind me all covered in grime, engine grease, or blood. But she especially didn't mind that I am all kinds of cocky and the occasional bastard.

She has the greatest smile I can remember...the way her cheeks get when she smiles or how much she blushed the first time I kissed her. Anyway, how did I thank her for being in my life...

by frakking around with the first drunken girl that would throw herself at me. Don't tell me that just because I was drunk too that it doesn't count...IT COUNTS! I frakked up big time and now I gotta live with the scars.

Again, I can go don the list of people I've hurt, but I promise its longer than the list of people that have hurt me, probably because people stopped being able to hurt me a few years ago. Either that or I just bury it and forget. They both work. But it makes you calloused and cold. You don't want it, trust me. Take my strong advice, and remember to always think twice.

I'm sorry Kaylee, I blew it. I'll always love you

I Am Jack's Strong Advice

We All Have Someone That Digs At Us...

If I turn into another, dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me.
-Incubus

I've come to realize that there are people you love, people you hate, and people on the fence. No matter the relationship to any of these said people, they are all counterparts in your/my life. For instance, there is a girl I know that I have come to have cold and bitter feelings towards, but I still remember her as the one who made me realize I can still love a girl. She makes me want to be the good guy. Whenever I hear Dig by Incubus, I think of her. Wish I could hate her.
Counterpart
Then there's Rapier, one of my best friends...who is a flake, a liar, and disloyal on constant occasion. He makes me see how true my other friends are when put on a comparison with him. Still love him, but he'd take a pair of pretty eyes and toned legs...no, any female legs over hanging with me any day. He reminds me what not to do to my friends. Wish I could hate him.
Counterpart
My high school sweetheart whom I've been carrying a torch for since senior year taught me that still being in love with someone for that long without any kind of returned feelings is detrimental to ones health. Although, she does make me want to be myself. I wish I could hate her.
Counterpart
The bum on the street who begs for money, who could be a con-man dressed in dirty clothes reminds me that I have to work hard in order to survive.
Counterpart
I have friends who are all around good and some that are complete bastards. Everyone we know is a piece working and sharing kinetic energy with one another. Hating them is hard to do.

I could rant about the people I do hate...but its too easy of a piece to write.

I Am Jack's Incubus

Do you know what the first rule of flying is, well, yeah because you already know what I'm about to say

"True, but I like the way you say it."- Malcolm Reynolds and River Tam (Serenity)

I got my motorcycle back for the first time sine December and it is love at first sight all over again. I bought a vehicle with my own money from the sweat of my own back. I fixed it with my own hands and filled up her tank with my own cash. I didn't have anywhere to go, I had no map or destination...hell, I hardly had a starting point. But I drove...I rode...I flew...and I love it.

The simple things in life are truly the best.

I named her Kiara, which means "Black and Mysterious" in Gaelic. She is my love of freedom from her handlebars down to the chrome crash-bars that protect her engine...her heart. Which leads me to my metaphor of the day.

I've had my crash-bars around my heart for too long. I have pushed away the useless, moronic, brown-nosing, bastard, and all around pricks in my life away for the better. But in doing so I have pushed away people I love and need. They bounce of my chrome armor just like anyone else. Well, I'm putting them away and my only armor is my skin. (But I'm keeping the crash-bars on Kiara, she needs them in case one of these psycho, idiot LA drivers decides to make an attempt on my life) Not only am I taking off my armor, but I'm going to drive people around me to be there best and be my best and make everyone happy. You say I'm a dreamer...perhaps, but the true description of me is that I don't believe in the "no-win" cituation. I believe everyone deserves a little happiness, and I'm gonna give it to them. Its the simplest thing in the world.

I Am Jack's Simplicity

I've Been Dazed and Confused for so Long

It has recently occurred to me how flawed the idea of "falling" in love with someone is. When you fall, especially when I fall flat on my frakking face, my decision making skills lack anything fundamental or foundational. My advice to the world (or I guess to the 1 person who reads this other than myself but hopefully more do than I know) is that after you "fall in love" or "fall in like" or "fall in mutual feelings" or just fall into anything with someone...you've got to pick yourself back up first. I've got to pick myself up, I can't wait for someone to heal my damages for me. I may have had one too many Irish Coffees by now (French roast coffee with brown sugar, Jameson, and whipped Baileys on top...I recommend it to everyone!) but I'm convinced I've finally written something worth reading on this pathetic piece of crap blog. But frak it, I don't care. All I know is I've got to pick my own pathetic soul out of this ditch. Starting now, I've got things to fix.
Good Night and Good Luck.


I Am Jack's Face Off the Flat Floor

Further Proof that Zach and I were Born in the Wrong Century

(Adapted/blatantly stolen from Sapphire Clouds; Crimson Rain)

I'm the friend, and only that. I'm the nice guy. The cute guy. The guy who loves from afar. The guy that watches you waste time. The guy you talk to about all the ass holes. The guy who you can talk with, laugh with.

But all I want to be is yours.

The best and worst part is that I have accepted this role, and I'm strangely comfortable with it.


I Am Jack's Immortal Chivalry