I've Been Dazed and Confused for so Long

It has recently occurred to me how flawed the idea of "falling" in love with someone is. When you fall, especially when I fall flat on my frakking face, my decision making skills lack anything fundamental or foundational. My advice to the world (or I guess to the 1 person who reads this other than myself but hopefully more do than I know) is that after you "fall in love" or "fall in like" or "fall in mutual feelings" or just fall into anything with someone...you've got to pick yourself back up first. I've got to pick myself up, I can't wait for someone to heal my damages for me. I may have had one too many Irish Coffees by now (French roast coffee with brown sugar, Jameson, and whipped Baileys on top...I recommend it to everyone!) but I'm convinced I've finally written something worth reading on this pathetic piece of crap blog. But frak it, I don't care. All I know is I've got to pick my own pathetic soul out of this ditch. Starting now, I've got things to fix.
Good Night and Good Luck.


I Am Jack's Face Off the Flat Floor

Further Proof that Zach and I were Born in the Wrong Century

(Adapted/blatantly stolen from Sapphire Clouds; Crimson Rain)

I'm the friend, and only that. I'm the nice guy. The cute guy. The guy who loves from afar. The guy that watches you waste time. The guy you talk to about all the ass holes. The guy who you can talk with, laugh with.

But all I want to be is yours.

The best and worst part is that I have accepted this role, and I'm strangely comfortable with it.


I Am Jack's Immortal Chivalry

Goodbye Ruby Tuesday

This is not what you think. I am not going to pour my women troubles onto the screen for the entire interweb community to read to their sadistic delight. All I need to say is that I did the right thing, and again doing the right thing has taken a toll on me. I have my armor back on after it was so joyously stripped from me. I hate this fucking armor, but it is crucial to the path I have chosen. When you cause someone more pain than happiness simply by being yourself in their presence...the only thing to do is get the fuck away from them, or you might not forgive yourself for the damage you could end up causing. Pain is easy, pain is a chemical released into the brain that tells you something is physically or emotionally wrong with your body. This is a controllable element, and mine is under control.

I have returned to feeling nothingness. It feels neither good nor bad. And I'm on my second sick pack of the black stuff. You may think I sound bitter...fuck no, I think its all hilarious. Its life, and its all a big joke.

I Am Jack's Lack of Humanity