Schizophrenia

Character Profile
Name - Andrew Draugsen (aka Anga Draug)
Socio Economic level as a child- I was born into an upper working class family. Well taken care of on the count of my severe physical ailments.

Socio Economic level as an adult- Fugitive after attacking two schoolmates in a fit of rage on the first day of my senior year of high school. I've been on the run through several states and countries ever since.

Occupation- Fugitive, hunter.

Birth Order- First of my mother and father, but second counting my step sister Bridget.

Significant Other Character: N/A, too afraid/disconnected to find love for I have no idea what my "condition" will be like in times of ecstasy.

Physical Characteristics
Height- 6'1" Weight- 200lbs, physical human peak
Ethnicity- Irish (part elf, part human)

Habits- I have enjoyed extremely rare steaks my whole life, something I inherited from my old man. Also, my entire childhood I was pathetic and weak compared to the average young/teenage boy. Therefore in defense of myself from my oppressors, I never pulled my punches. It has been difficult enough controlling my inner demons much less controlling my new found strength.

Health- Physical human peak after the age of eighteen. Before that, I had muscular dystrophy, Anemia, and Osteoporosis. All of them faded when I hit puberty at 18.

Hobbie- I love Metallica. Mainly because I heard it in the womb because my dad would out the headphones on my mother's belly when she was asleep. Also, when das was taken he left me his truck, which carried volumes upon volumes of Metallica and other heavy metal cassette s. Which leads to my hobby of cross-country driving, especially in that muscle truck.

Favorite color- Golden red, like the good wolf in the stories my father used to read me. Also, happy face yellow.

Style: After my initial "transformation" from puny to Thor, i worked out and learned martial arts for I knew (in the back of my mind) that one day I would have to finish the fight my father started, but I don't have a clue what the battle is for because he was taken from me. So my style is that of an ever-ready warrior. After my "exile" from high school I have become a wanderer, looking for a destination. A Ranger.

Greatest Flaw: Blindness. I am unwilling to forgive myself for the things I have done that are beyond my control. The wolf in me has done things, terrible things, that I don't know how to keep it at bay. I would call that my greatest flaw but it is beyond my control. I will never forgive myself for what I have done.

Best Quality: I had the decency to and bravery to leave after the violence I inflicted on my enemies ...and my friend. I nearly killed my friend Paul when I was caught in a fury. I ran awya because of what I did to him. I have no remorse about what I've done to Matt, I may have even don him some good by kicking his punk ass. But back to the point, I left everything I know and love to hide like a bum in the woods so I won't hurt anyone else.

Fears: I am not only afraid of what is inside me, but I am afraid of how strong I may be. I am afraid of my power and more afraid of the reason I was given this power. Dr. Acula told me my offspring would be the outcome and the omega to this great struggle in mankind.

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes
Educational Background: All of my adolescent life I was too sick and weak to play sports so i read books. I read Watchmen, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, and countless fantasies. I've read Nietzsche, Pascal, Tom Paine, the Dali Lama and many other philosophical works. On top of that I memorized my school books without breaking a sweat. My fantasies, philosophies, and textbooks were my only friends...but coincidentally made me worthy to join The Fury Dawn.

Intelligence Level: Unbelievably smart, both in the books, on street, and down the gutter.

Any mental illness: None, aside from the feral animal that live sin my brain.

How do I see myself?: I see a victim in the mirror. I see someone given a destiny that I don't want, but must face for all mankind. At my first initial realization of this, I didn't care much that I was the 'savior" of mankind, but later I find it difficult to want to save man. Sometimes I wonder why they deserve to be saved. I see myself as a pretentious person time and time again for believing I can make the choice. The two wolves are still fighting, and I am still feeding both.

How am I perceived by others?: To Snipes, I am freedom from his curse. To Acula, I am a tool. To Hampshire and Vermont, I am prey they aren't allowed to kill. To my father, I am a price he paid for his mistakes, almost a burden. He tries to hide it, but he's not good at it.

Am I ruled by logic or emotion?: I, Andrew, am logical. But Anga Draug is pure emotion and in the moment. When the wolf takes over, Andrew is powerless. At least...at first. My initial ability is being able to control the wolf and use its strength whenever I see fit, even during non-full moon phases. The control ability is later passed on to my offspring. Ithil Mori is Telekinetic and Draug Mori is a shaman, and can influence living nature. I am ruled by logic and emotion.

What embarrasses me?: I don't feel enough human contact anymore to be a victim of embarrassment. Being embarrassed requires human interaction and I am a lone wolf. I can not be embarrassed when no one is around to notice.

What do I want?: Aside from the obvious search for my long lost father and meaning and why I am the way I am, I am searching for a way out. I want to rid myself of this power and return home to my mother and sister and not fear hurting them.

Why do I want that?: WHY DO I WANT THAT? Hell, thats like asking why I don't want to eat my sister. I want to be able to go home and not be locked in the basement once a month.

Emotional Characteristics
Introvert or extrovert?: At this juncture of my life, I would call myself an introvert. I am a nomad in search of meaning and my lost humanity. Therefore, I have no time for interaction with humans. In my childhood, I was both. I was an extrovert but only within the confines of the Fury Dawn. Outside of that I was an introvert.

How do I deal with anger?: I try to outrun my anger. Even when the full moon is absent from the sky, too much anger can cause me to lose control and experience another mental transformation. In most cases my anger causes the death of innocents. I outrun it, and when it catches up, I fight it, and I'm learning not to lose.

Sadness?: Sadness, like happiness, is a human emotion I am being torn away from.

Conflict?: Most of my conflicts end in violence. For instance, that night in Georgia, six months after I left home, the smell of that beautiful, enticing woman's blood combined with the adrenaline flowing through those pathetic rapist bastards made it easy to allow Anga Draug to take action. The conflict was not saving her from rape and being beaten, the conflict was within me, trying to keep the "violence" contained. How do I deal with that? Thick leather straps and big heavy chains.

Change?: Compared to the average teenager, I had a dramatic puberty and powerful transformation from boy to man. I went from 90 pounds, 5 feet tall to a 200 pound, six foot two behemoth in less than a year. That felt normal to me. When I first became a wolf, I ran away. I ran away from the the change, leaving behind everything. I'm a coward for leaving my friends, especially Paul, whom I nearly killed. I couldn't handle the change because no one taught me to control it. I was a newborn baby all over again.

Loss?: I lost my humanity (running theme of the series, in case you couldn't tell). My humanity was taken from me when my father fell victim to wolf carrying the demonic vampire gene. All of my childhood I was given a mask to appear a normal human boy. When I lost that it was devastating. Even with all my new found power I stll felt hurt and robbed. Thats the only thing that makes the wolf in me., the anger, feel good. Well, human blood makes me feel good too.

What do I want out of life?: My humanity mask back. I want the responsibility of saving this pathetic species to be passed on to someone else.

What makes me happy?: Metallica, Watchmen, Star Wars, Rare steak, and the adrenaline and ecstasy of warm A+ blood rushing over my taste buds .

Am I judgmental?: No. Judging people is a human fault. I avoid it. Anga Draug however, sees fit to destroy and condemn those he believes evil. He enjoys it.

Am I generous or stingy?: easy to be generous when you have nothing

Am I rude or polite?: Again, those are human emotions that I am forgetting.


I Am Jack's Work of Art

light as a feather...hard as dragon scales

She makes me want to be a good guy again, a guy that actually cares about her and myself...but a caring, nice, good, and overall wonderful guy has chinks and weak spots in his armor. Vulnerable.

I don't have that

But I want to have that

Beer me


I Am Jack's Dragon Hide

My Friend of Misery

"You insist that the weight of the world should be on your shoulders"
Metallica

Clearly, I fucked up when I tried to tell you that...timing is everything. But man, you've had my back for sixteen years and carried plenty of my load. I only want to help carry yours for a while. Its not cowardly or weak, it just means you've got brothers. I've come to a point in my life where I'm starting to care about very little, and less about people. If you're one of them, your one of few. Its okay to not care, its like armor. What you don't care about can't stab you in the back, it can only come straight at you.

Besides, I'd die before letting Ithil Mori get stabbed in the back again, even if I have to stop myself. I sear that on my honor...and my red guitar.

As for the rest of my friends and readers, these times are sent to try men's souls...if somethings wrong with what you see bite your fucking tongue, keep your sword sheathed, and put your shield to good use. When a friend is in need, a stab to the back is not going to help. I learned that first hand last summer, and I didn't learn because I let it happen to someone else I hold dear. I felt nothing but pure hatred for myself and I am a hypocritical bastard for cursing others who have done the same...and I won't. The punishment your conscience does to you is far greater than any creative violence I can concoct.

Another note, if you post anonymously on I Am Jack's Mad World...you're a coward and your words have no effect on me. The empty can rattles most.

I Am Jack's Scream In Space