I spent most of today having vivid memories of all the people that have hurt me when it dawned on me like a frying pan to the face...I have hurt so many more people in a much shorter span of time. I'm afraid after I post this that I'll get responses from my friends saying how wrong I am and how I never let them down. As true as that may be, I've still done some frakked up things to some good people.
The one that has stabbed at me all day (well, every day since actually) is this great girl I had. God, she was like my Kaylee, Serenity's mechanic, (if you don't watch Firefly you won't get it so shut up). She was so sweet, kind, my kind of sarcastic and didn't mind me all covered in grime, engine grease, or blood. But she especially didn't mind that I am all kinds of cocky and the occasional bastard.
She has the greatest smile I can remember...the way her cheeks get when she smiles or how much she blushed the first time I kissed her. Anyway, how did I thank her for being in my life...
by frakking around with the first drunken girl that would throw herself at me. Don't tell me that just because I was drunk too that it doesn't count...IT COUNTS! I frakked up big time and now I gotta live with the scars.
Again, I can go don the list of people I've hurt, but I promise its longer than the list of people that have hurt me, probably because people stopped being able to hurt me a few years ago. Either that or I just bury it and forget. They both work. But it makes you calloused and cold. You don't want it, trust me. Take my strong advice, and remember to always think twice.
I'm sorry Kaylee, I blew it. I'll always love you
I Am Jack's Strong Advice
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